The Difference between "Loving" someone and the "Being IN Love" with someone...

...What is your interpretation of Love? To you is there a difference between "loving" someone or "being in love" with someone? Do you think that men and women have different views of both?

- I have been contemplating this theory for a while now, and it only comes from experience. I have only ever been told once in my life (not by my current boyfriend) from someone that they were "in love" with me. And that was someone that I did not feel the same way about. That got me thinking...to me, I think there is a HUGE difference. You can love and have love for many people for many different reasons but to be "truly in love" with someone takes so much more. You can have love for your dog, cat, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, brother, sister, best friends, friends, people in general, etc. But to experience the rare bliss of "being in love" with a significant other is completely rare.

Take a step back, and really think about relationships you've had in the past. In Middle School or High School most people will call that your "first love" or "puppy love" because that's where some get to experience their first loves. How many of those relationships stay forever? How many of them actually work out to where they end up getting married, have kids, or how many of them just vanish? How do you really know at such a young age you want to be with that person for the rest of your life? I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I'm saying that it doesn't happen as often as it did maybe 50/60 years ago. I know of this one couple who have been together forever, I don't know them personally but from the outside looking in, they have been happy for the past 10 years. Met in high school (or maybe earlier), and started dating. Now they are engaged and are well on their way to their happy ending. I think that's the rare kind of puppy love that grows into something more.

Is it because you already know going into a relationship that you instantly want to be with that person for the rest of your life? If so, why do most people get divorced after a couple of years of being together? I was watching a documentary from Netflix the other day called "The Sexual Intelligence"... and also I saw another one called "The Science of Sex Appeal" - and they both gave me such a different outlook on life and human beings and why we are the way we are. Why we are not meant for monogamy, and why most relationships only last up to 4 years. I can' t really explain it all because there is so much information that would completely boggle your mind. The Science behind a human anatomy and brain is completely different on what you would think it would be. It also explained why unconsciously we pick the partners that we do. Why we are attracted to certain people and their features. It doesn't have a lot to do with just their looks but the points in their face, eyes, nose, ears, lips, cheek bones etc..

Then from there it goes on to say that's just the attraction part, then we go on (especially women) to judge a person's characteristics and lifestyles to see which person fits best with our requirements for an exceptable partner. I've always wonder why everyone's tastes in people are so different from one another. I don't believe everything that documentary had said but it did open my eyes up to a little bit more than what I've been told as a kid. I never knew how much science had to do with the world itself. Yes I might sound naive saying this Science was never one of my best subjects in school. Now that this is an interest for me I'm sure I will be judging science differently.

Wow completely going off on a rant.. back to the original subject...

Why I am writing about this is because I was just sitting here watching Private Practice, and the guy (I'm not sure what the character's name is) said to his girlfriend.. "I am in love with you, I love you, you have me, I am completely here for you"... Maybe it's just me or maybe people can just say those words out in the open like that without even thinking about how they have to say it.

All I ever wanted in my life was to have a love and relationship like my parents did. From my eyes they had the perfect relationship. They met through mutual friends and had the same goals in life. To have a big family and to be happy. They came here from Vietnam with nothing in their hands but the clothing on their backs and have gone through a lot of tragedies to get to where were. I only say where because my mother is no longer with us. My dad on the other hand is completely successful.


I put LOVE on such a pedistal only because from what I have seen in my parents eyes. My dad treated my mom like a princess. He appreciated everything that she did for him. He'd come home from a long day of work, and she'd have dinner on the table waiting for him. She was excited to see him when he got home. I don't want to tute my own horn but to me, we had the perfect family. I don't want a family or children but I'd like to share that kind of LOVE with man like my parents did. To have something so rare find you and to top it off with happiness, what else could you ask for?

I just hope one day I can find someone who thinks that I'm worth all of those things, and tells me so that I know everyday of my life, that I was their number one.

The beginning...

THE BEGINNING...

- Honestly I wouldn't even know where to begin with my thoughts. It has been years since I have even done any type of online journal. I've never had my own personal "blog" that I guess anyone would actually want to read but I guess I can give this a shot.

I'm sitting here watching Greys Anatomy reruns and it's 2:30am. Also typing religiously fast to my best friend that's in Connecticut. He is truly amazing. That's all I have to say. We've been friends since we were 8 years old. Makes me laugh honestly. He keeps me sane. We were reminiscing tonight about our past and childhood. All we had were each other. I was estranged from my family and he was an only child so we clung to each other.

How many people in your life can you honestly say that you've "known" most of your life or your whole life besides your family? It boggles my mind that he and I both have "grown up" together. Literally. Going through from adolescents to preteens to teenagers to adults? When did this happen? Suddenly when you are my age, you definitely realize that you aren't getting any younger and you start opening your eyes up to things that matter in life and things that don't.

We used to fight like cats and dogs too. It was like having a soap opera every single day on just two people who got along great but when things got bad for some reason, they got super bad. We have the same temper and attitude. In High School we were such little "bitches".. I'm talking about literally fighting OUT LOUD in Italian class and completely disrespecting our Italian Teacher. I will never forget him.. IO TU LUI LEI LEI. (the way you'd say i, you, me, he and she - trust me I did not imprint this in my mind on purpose! This teacher definitely did his job, unfortunately that's the only thing I remembered from that class). That poor guy never stood a chance against us. Or we'd walk down the hallway screaming and fighting with each other then continue to fight online over AOL Instant Messager and Emails and HE just brought up the fact that we'd call each other over and over again on our land line phones to kick each other offline.

I mean this was over 10 years ago so you can only imagine how immature and stupid we were. I wouldn't trade those time in for anything though. I find that when you get older you realize who your true friends are. You may not have a large amount of friends, but the ones that are there are the only ones that really matter. You can't count on everyone in your life but if you are lucky enough you'll get a handful or less that you can depend on with your life.

Flash forward 10 years, and we are still the same people we were but just with more responsibilities. It amazes me that we're 800 miles away from each other and we're still closer then ever. I can tell him anything, and he can with me and we just have amazing support for one another without judgements. He truly is the sibling that I've never had.

- Anyways -

It's now 2:45 a.m. and not even an ounce of me is tired. My boyfriend and I just went to a movie tonight. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. This series is epic. The books are the best sellers , and the movies follow. I read the first two books about 10 years ago but then lost interest with it but I follow the movies religiously! The director that took over after the first two movies is amazing. The series has completely turned dark and twisted and it just amazing! I'm excited for the Part 2. I can't believe it' s been 10 years since this whole series has started. I can't believe I'm old enough to say "10 years ago.... i was doing this... and i saw that" WOW.

I guess I've gone on ranting and raving too much. Night!

~Lizzie